Sometimes I write a post because I feel it bursting out of me, and it always ends in a place of joy. They are the posts that make my heart a little fluttery to hit publish on, but the ones I know I need to publish if only for myself to look back on. This is one of those posts. I just wanted to say that if you’re reading this blog, Thank You. It means a lot to me. Writing is an outlet for someone as chatty as me, and anyone who knows me can tell you that I can talk with the best of them.
The fact is, when you read this it’s like you’re coming into my life and into my home. I hope you’re kind, and nice and wonderful and you enjoy what I have to say. I recently realized that not everyone is on the internet. I mean, I’m not ignorant, I knew it was there. Just like I know there is violence in the world but I choose not to read or watch the news, or watch violent shows. My head is already filled with a bunch of stuff, and when I get upset it shoots all of that out of the window and all I can think about is how my heart hurts and why people would act like that. Then I’m upset for no reason and I forget to do something important. The fact is I don’t like it when my heart hurts and I grow weary because all I ever read on the news is negative stuff. It’s disheartening. Sometimes I figure it was only a matter of time medical companies started advertising anti-depressants when the news was on.
The point is, the other day I came across a site where people pretty much bash popular blogs it seems like. I came across it through a comment someone made on a blog I like, and I thought “what on earth could people be saying?”, because it is innately part of me to believe that people are good. What I read made me confused and “what the eff?!”. I was a little angry and a little disheartened and I got that “my heart hurts” feeling. I simply will never understand why people bash other people they don’t know simply because of their design choices, food choices, clothing, writing style or what not. As I see it, if I don’t like someone I just don’t visit their house. I don’t need to go around in my life talking shit about them. It’s a huge waste of energy which should be put into laughing with those you love, or changing the life of someone you don’t in a positive way.
Besides, I know there’s a lot of good in the world. I try to focus on that so my heart doesn’t hurt so much. I don’t ever write about it because I don’t focus on it, but I think part of my adamant positive attitude has to do with the fact that I get anxiety around the ugly in life like violence and if it gets to me, it gets to life and it’s flat out just not an option to me. I’m a pretty resilient person, but I also know that my family is the ultimate source of joy and nothing else really matters. Anxiety sometimes seems like my biggest flaw but more often than not I realize it’s actually a huge reason I’m so positive. I write about my life, and to be frank, anxiety is not my life (and I don’t want this to be a place to talk about it or be all womp womp about it – it’s just not worth my time to focus on it.)
The point is I write about good things that remind me why it’s so important to breath in the sunsets and ignore the rest. I try to always choose the good and leave the bad because it has no place in my life. It’s true that life is just too damn short. God gave me eyes to see the good, and a heart that feels the bad, and an ability to use it to appreciate the absolute beauty everywhere.
So I hope if you’re with me on this little journey of mine, that you’re happy to be at my home with me. That you are a loving and kind and thoughtful person. That you can laugh at dirty jokes, swear once in a while (or more than once in a while if you’re me), and don’t mind dirt and dog hair.
I love having you here. We might not agree on everything. You might dislike how I do something, but that’s okay. All I ask is that in my house, you respect me and I will always in turn respect you. I have a desire to love everyone, it’s something I just can’t help (and wouldn’t if I could). So if you have a good heart, a penchant for funny sarcasm, a love of kindness no matter where you are in life and the ability to see good in the world and choose it over bad, then please – come in, I have a cup of tea on for you.
On a side note, how can you not love it all when you have a dog who loves to be spun like this? It’s hilarious. Every. Single. Time.