I am not in any shape, form, or false belief a natural long distance runner. But I’ve always wanted to be. There’s something incredibly freeing about running, pushing yourself to the limits and boosting your confidence when you realize you can do something you couldn’t even do a few weeks ago.
Despite having roughed up ankles from dancing and reconstructions (plural, on each foot) and being told I would never be able to run,
And I love it.
I’ve run on and off for a number of years, especially these last few years. When I’ve been unemployed, I’ve started running again. When I get to the point I feel disgusting or I just need freedom, I start running again. That said, I always stopped. Life happened, and I stopped.
Have you ever had those times when something happens, and you decide at that point in your life there’s no looking back?
Andy’s cousin, who is 24 years old, beat cancer last year. A month or so ago she asked if the women on my husbands side of the family wanted to run a 5k in June. I was petrified but I knew I had to do it. If she could beat cancer, I could train my body to run three miles without stopping. This time around there was a motivation, a dedication and a determination. It started being for her, and it’s ended up changing me. For years it’s been on my bucket list to run a 5k before I turn 30, and that leaves this summer and next summer.
I want this. And I will do it.
So over the last few weeks I’ve been running, a lot. No matter what needs to get done after work, I go running a few times a week. I’m happier. My dogs are happier, I feel better in general and I’m eating better. When I have the choice to go shopping after work or run—I run. I sweat endorphins, not money.
This time it doesn’t just feel like something to do. It feels like something I am going to become.
And last night, this is a big one for me, I ran my furthest distance and my fastest time. For me, this is huge, even though compared to others it’s not. But here’s the deal— I refuse to compare myself to others, because then it won’t feel so huge—and it is.
I breezed home last night with the biggest smile on my face with sweat heavy on my back.
So despite four ankle reconstructions, a bad back and doctors telling me I would never run.
Everytime I look at my shoes it makes me feel like freedom and confidence are only a step away. They are my my confidants, my stress relievers, my motivators, my push myself to places I never thought I could go, my feel the wind in my face and the sweat on my body, my “I can do anything”.
The truth is, everyone has to start somewhere and if you don’t take the first step, you’ll never take your second.