I have a very distinct method of choosing paint colors. It’s very effective and may sweep the nation as the best way to choose a paint. Consider yourself lucky to have a sneak peek of such an innovative method. Please note this method should be accomplished with good lighting, but only at the time of day in which said good lighting is quickly fading. Also, wear sweatpants and unwashed hair in a messy bun on the side of your head that’s falling. Any wispy hair sticking straight out is a bonus. If you have short hair it must be plastered sideways to your head in a crazy cowlick like you just woke up after sleeping on the side of your face all night smushed into the pillow at an awkward angle. It’s critical to the process.
Gather a ridiculous amount of paint samples and then choose a handful you think might work with your style. In our case this meant a color which would work with a wide variety of different kinds of wood all within what will be open view of each other.
Walk around your house what feels like fifty times comparing each potential sample to every kind of wood that is currently in the house which will be in view of said paint color. Then, take a piece of flooring for your living room and put all the paint samples on said piece of wood.
With great attention and conviction, analyze the colors in the flooring against the paint samples and start placing samples to the side that you know just won’t work. Don’t throw them away though, because they might work and you might change your mind and you just don’t know. Take a deep breath.
Find more paint samples you forgot about and even though you really hadn’t thought of going in the direction of a cooler color, and you’re concerned about being jammed into a corner style wise by having a punchy color on the wall, put those samples up anyway.
Step back, cringe at the new samples, and immediately remove them from the running. These ones go in the recycling. Oh wait, no, take them back out, you might want to use those colors in another room. Phew! That was close.
Take your remaining colors and place them on your plank of wood and then walk around your room to all the different kinds of lighting because you refuse to spend any money on an actual paint sample you could paint on each wall and watch how the color changes throughout the day.
Start weaning down your samples again after eying every possible lighting scenario you can find. Before you start discarding though, make sure to walk around a minimum of twenty five more times to compare them to every thing that is important the paint goes with. Make sure to throw the paint samples you don’t want in the recycling. For real this time. Except don’t take it out yet. Just in case.
Narrow it down to two and then show your significant other so they can help you pick the color. No significant other? Just have your dog nose one. Or cat paw one. Or rip them into tiny shreds and then put them in a mug and toss it around and the first color you pick out is the color you’ll be painting. Of course you’ll likely change your mind anyway so this is a totally worthless step.
You’ve picked your final color. Phew! It’s about time. Hang this color up on your board until you’re ready to buy paint. (Also, make sure your photo doesn’t really show the color properly, because in person it’s actually a lot creamier and yellow then in the photo below). Now go take a shower and fix that crazy hair you stinky minx.
But not before you change your mind – again! The night before you go buy paint for your living room, which will also be the color to your open concept kitchen area, have a conversation with your significant other which results in it turning out they don’t really like the color anyway and you realizing it’s way too yellow and you’re really more of a neutrals person who likes to have color with accessories. Take your paint sample book from your favorite paint company and give it to your significant other and tell them to pair it down to a few colors they think would work. They will then hand you a bar of colors and tell you they would like if it could be one from that bar. You immediately zone in on one color. Oh wait, nope, the other one. Oh but look at that one. Choose a color from the bar of swatches in approximately two minutes. Google photos of the final color you like and realize it’s perfect. Or you know, it will do and you’ll like it. Probably. Good enough.
Your choice for this round?
Do not go to the store to order your paint. Call it in. This way, it’s all mixed up and you can’t change your mind once you get there and see all of the other potential colors. By this point you’re ready just to have the paint anyway and you’re over picking colors.
You’ve finally picked your color, you’ve picked up your paint, and now it’s just time to get those brushes stroking and those rollers rolling. Spread this method, you are sure to be a hit among your DIY friends. They will have no idea how you became so efficient and precise in your color choosing ways.