Tag Archives: vegan

kitchen mischief sweets

How To Be Classy Like Me: Baking A Bundt Cake

August 2, 2012 – 10:30 am

In this installment of “How To Be Classy Like Me” we’re going to tackle baking. There are a few things you need to know before we start. Be prepared for the Queen of England to ask you to make her a cake for her next royal event. This in turn will make you so in demand that you’ll have to open a full time bakery, followed by making millions. So, if you want to make millions and meet the Queen of England then follow my directions precisely. If you don’t, I can’t guarantee you millions. If you do…I still can’t guarantee you millions but I can guarantee you the awe and admiration of all those you encounter that it might at least taste decent.

To be super classy you must start by realizing you literally have almost nothing in your kitchen to bake with. Because you have no butter, and no eggs, you consult a vegan cookbook. Everyone knows vegan baking is what classy people eat anyway.

After consulting Veganomicon you find a coconut lemon bundt cake and realize it’s the only recipe you have everything for. Except for lemons. Minor detail, you have limes. Or oranges. Or whatever.

Next heat your oven up and get your bundt pan out. If you need to grease it so it doesn’t stick, do it. If you have a non-stick one like I do, high-five.

Now look at your ingredients and directions and mix all that shit together. Why? Because it says to. Also, this is the part of baking you don’t totally suck at. You can mix. You can mix with the best of them. Why? You’re classy, of course.

Put that cake in the oven and set the timer. Do not forget to set the timer. You wouldn’t anyway, you’re awesome. Once a knife (or a fork, spoon handle, spatula, whatever) comes out clean your cake is done. Take it out of the oven. Admire it’s beauty. Now let it sit for about ten to fifteen minutes. DON’T TOUCH IT or try and flip it out.

In the mean time get your super pretty cake stand out that you’ve never used before. Or maybe you have, I don’t really know, I’m not in your kitchen. What I do now is that I had never used mine before. I got it over a year ago. That’s how often I bake cakes. At least, that’s how often I bake cakes that I don’t eat directly from the pan with a fork. Don’t worry, it’s a contemporary classy looking fork.

Once your cake cools to the specified time, put your cake stand over the pan and flip it. When it doesn’t flip out because it’s still too hot don’t wait for it to cool further. All you need to do is hit your cake pan like, fifteen times. Classy women don’t loose their cool, so hit your pan with a smile on your face. Even when your non-stick bundt pan totally messes your cake up, you remain calm and collected and do not at all swear or say things like “What the f….”. Also, classy women don’t mess up so make sure you blame your cake sticking on the brand new (year old but never used) non-stick pan, not on the fact that you didn’t let it cool enough. You need to be an accountable woman, you need to take responsibility for your actions, but this was clearly the pans fault. Blame it on the inanimate object you classy broad.

No one will ever know if you carefully pick up the broken piece of of your bundt cake, and then smash it back into the cake. Also, ignore any massive cracks you may have made when you hit the ever loving life out of your bundt pan…and it fell onto the counter instead of your cake stand. You don’t want to upstage other bakers anyway. Being the classy lady you are it’s good once in a while to prove you are also flawed—you know, or at least let other people believe you are (we know you aren’t).

When in doubt, regain that your cake is awesome by taking a photo of the part of it that isn’t cracked. Damn, you’re good.

The next, and final, step of baking an awesome cake like a classy woman is to cover up all of your mistakes with powdered sugar. Or at least try.

When that doesn’t work just cut it into pieces before you serve it. When someone picks up the piece that you smashed back into place and it breaks, compliment your guest on their strength and that you thought it looked like they had been working out.

You are good. You are really good. I’m proud of you, you classy woman. Keep on baking. Before you know it you’ll be making those millions.

Or just eating a ton of cake. Either way, you win.

xo,

Heather

Despite the fact that I do know how to drink wine like the lady I am, I was not drunk when I baked this. I wasn’t even tipsy. I didn’t even have anything to drink. I really am just that bad at baking, and I like to make fun of it. That said, the flavor of this was absolutely delicious.

Also, vegan baking is actually absolutely awesome. I really love it, even more so than normal baking most of the time. Veganomicon is a fantastic cook book to have around and this cake (yes it does exist) is unbelievable, even made with lime. I highly suggest it.

Oh, and if you want to see drunk cooking  I suggest this girl. Her YouTube channel is hands down my absolute favorite. It makes me crack up laughing every. single. time.

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kitchen mischief savories

Delicious Crispy Tofu Sesame Noodles

March 9, 2012 – 8:02 pm

A few nights ago I really wanted something super simple and easy to make, and I was craving sesame noodles like the dickens. That said, I’ve never made the sauce before and I was pretty unsure on where to start. I also had no asian noodles in the trusty pantry and wasn’t in the mood to go to the grocery store or make them by hand.

So low and behold I find Ree’s recipe from The Pioneer Woman. I obviously adapted mine since I am highly incapable of following a recipe to a T, at least 99% of the time.

And although my version calls for crisped tofu, feel free to throw whatever protein you want in these. They would be absolutely delicious with chicken or shrimp, or just the noodles themselves as a side.  Other variations? Obviously changing the noodle out for an authentic one, adding ginger, adding a bit of thai basil even? My brain is thinking of about 100 different variations all at once. Oh my gosh, I’m salivating all over again.

Ingredients

Sesame Noodles

  • Spaghetti or other noodle of choice, a couple quarter sized handfuls should do the trick  (Side story: My Pepere taught me when I was about 23 that a quarter size of spaghetti is a serving for one person)
  • 1/2 cup low sodium soy sauce ( I really recommend going low sodium. I have a low salt tolerance but these could have verged on being too salty if you accidentally went over with regular soy sauce.)
  • A couple tablespoons sugar
  • 3-4 cloves garlic minced fine, or more if you’re crazy for garlic
  • 2 tbsp rice vinegar
  • 5 tbsp sesame oil (I prefer more, feel free to start with about 2 and go up from there to taste)
  • 3-4 tbsp canola/olive oil
  • 2 tablespoons Peanut Butter (use chunky if you want an extra crunch!)
  • 1/4 cup hot water
  • Green onions or chives, sliced super duper thin to toss in at the end

Crispy Tofu

  • 2 tbsp canola/olive oil
  • 1 package extra firm tofu drained well & cut into bit size cubes, I tend to make mine on the smallish side.
  • Sesame seeds (toasted & optional)
  • Hot pepper flakes (optional)

Directions

I’m going to make this super difficult. Okay, that was sarcastic. I apologize.

Sesame Noodles

  1. Cook your noodles according to directions & drain.
  2. In a large bowl mix everything else together for the sauce, except the peanut butter, water and chives.
  3. Combined the hot water and peanut butter together until emulsified and melted. Add to the rest of the sauce.
  4. Mix it all up and edit it as you see fit for your own taste (this is where if you wanted more salt you could add it, or ginger, etc.)
  5. Toss in your drained noodles while still hot so they can soak up the dressing and set to the side.

Crispy Tofu

  1. In a skillet, preferably non-stick (or else watch it like a hawk) put in the few tablespoons of olive or canola oil & let it get hot over medium heat.
  2. Add in your well drained tofu that you’ve tapped a little dry (no water meets oil splatters!)
  3. Let the tofu sit for a minute and then toss. You may need to add a little more oil to the pan at one point. Let the tofu crisp up – this can take a while. If you have an oven safe pan and broiler you can do this in the broiler but again, watch.like.a.hawk.
  4. Add just a little bit of sesame oil in once crisped up, this would be a good place to put in some red pepper flakes and/or sesame seeds if you wanted; and did I ever want to.

The Finale

  1. Toss your crispy tofu with your noodles and your green onions or chives. Let sit about 10 minutes.
  2. Shovel noodles in your face in a not so delicate way because they are delicious, unless you have company, then you might want to act like a human – I however, choose the “good Lord I’m hungry and these are tasty” method.

These are awesome, and simple in their most basic form, and in the form I made them are vegan and vegetarian friendly. I’d say the entire recipe took me about 1/2 hour total.

Happy Simple Delicious Dinner,

Heather

Pst, ppsstttt – here’s a hint : these are killer the next day, even better actually.

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