Forget a series, this blog should pretty much just be called, “How To Be Classy Like Me”. I don’t want to be pompous, but I’m probably the most classy person you’ll ever know.
Today’s lesson is on wine drinking.
First, you get the classiest wine you can find. For me, this is Margarita wine handmade by my Uncle. He makes much less classy wine like White Chocolate White Port, and Savignon Blanc, but if you really want to impress people you’ll always go for something like Margarita. If you are classy enough to get hives from some alcohol like I do with tequlia, to name one, you’ll find this wine is a handy replacement. That is, if you can find your own private distributor like I have.
Second, you pour extremely high end ionized salt in a bowl, or sugar if you’re so inclined. Make sure your bowl is clearly the nicest one you have, remember who you are here – you’re classy, and classy people don’t do anything half-assed. Or swear.
Thirdly, obtain your pure crystal wine glass from the china cabinet, wipe the rim in wine – nay, don’t use a fruit like lime or lemon, they are beneath you. Take said glass with wetted rim and place in the salt or sugar.
Fourth, and this is important you MUST absolutely only use a classy amount of ice in your glass with your wine which has not been previously chilled. Previously chilled white wine is for novices. It is required to chill your wine on the spot with ice. About 8 cubes should do the trick.
Fifth, pour oh so gently over the cubes without splashing any of the delightfulness off of the rim.
Finally, always fill your wine glass a classy amount.
For an added pop of glitz and glamour I highly suggest a dainty splash of juice or sparkling water.
And that, my friends, is how you can drink wine and be classy like me.
Oh, and if you’re wondering, five-heads, no makeup, a giant Steven Tyler-esque mouth and a thumbs up/wink combo is extremely classy.