I think when you’ve been with anyone for a significant amount of time, you learn things from them and about yourself. In celebrating my (almost) 29th birthday, and with his 30th right around the corner I thought I would list 30 of the many things I’ve learned from Andy over the almost 9 years we’ve been together. Some of these things are very literal, some of them are funny, and some of them are about myself.
- Together we are Diana Ross. Our middle names that is. I have always thought this was funny. He has always found it lame.
- Oil Rubbed Bronze, also known as ORB’s, actual finish code is US10B.
- Rap is hilarious when a guy in insulated Carhartt overalls puts his laptop on his shoulder like a boombox.You’d be surprised at my husband retention of song lyrics, including but not limited to, rap and the 80’s.
- How to fix minor items on a car, and how cool it is to have your own toolkit.
- That it’s not a bad thing to be independent in a relationship and not always attached at the hip. He gets me and gives me breathing room when I need it and doesn’t get upset, offended or weirded out when I go off by myselfor out with my friends without him. Why? Because we’re both that way. We love being together, and we love doing things apart. It’s good for a relationship and your individuality in order to grow.
- Construction adhesive and “caulking” are not the same thing.
- “Don’t ruin my truck or I’ll divorce you” does not equate to divorce when you ruin his truck. Maybe some serious disappointment, but nowhere near close to divorce. Also, we no longer even jokingly say the word. You’re either in marriage “to try” or you’re in it. We were always in it but we decided even saying the word as a joke wasn’t funny. I still feel bad about the truck though. Don’t ruin your mans truck, or vehicle, or favorite enter item here.
- I have had to learn to live with a man who doesn’t like making penned in plans and shutting off all of his options, when I am someone who would prefer to be scheduled. I literally write in my calendar in pen.
- I have a penchant for saying “NO.” very strongly if I am at all weary of a situation, request, or suggestion. It takes me time to come around.
- When I decide on something I “put it up there” *taps on head*. My husband has learned this, pointed it out to me, and now tells me not to “put it up there” when he throws out a potential suggestion for something, because if he doesn’t I might make the decision that’s it, and then it will be tough to convince me otherwise without a good logical argument. I think this goes back to the fact I write on my calendar in pen.
- We all like being loved, we all like feeling respected but I’d say men feel worth it in a relationship through respect, women feel worth through the little things that make them feel special. Is this general? Yes. Is it true for everyone? No, but it’s true in our house generally.
- I have a very thoughtful husband. He might consider jacking up the house so we have a straight floor to be love, but he also brings me wild flowers, fresh strawberries from the garden, lets me sleep in and takes care of the dogs for me (I do mornings, he does before bed), and sneaks out and comes back with a breakfast sandwich from my favorite place.
- Being thankful counts. He thanks me every single night I make dinner for him. I can’t remember a single time he hasn’t said at least said, “thanks B”.
- I use words wrong. I have had it pointed out to me with a laugh that I say “almost” when I mean anything from “I breifly thought about it” to I actually almost did do something. This has become a joke in our house.
- The man is good at making up silly songs that stick.
- The man is good at making up silly nicknames that stick. I am currently refered to as Beatrice. I like it, but only from him. It’s endearing.
- He will always call me by my maiden last name, and say it wrong, just to make me smile. I like it, but only from him. It’s endearing. He knows if anyone else pronounces it wrong I find it annoying.
- He’s an introvert that doesn’t like to go out, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t nice, funny, or boring. He is nice, extremely funny when he gets into it, and anything but boring.
- If you want to know about work ethic and motivation, try keeping up with Andy for a day. It’s been good for me.
- We’re both homebodies.
- I am a natural risk assessor, except on the occassion I’m willing to let it all go and just go for something.
- My husband knows when I’m stressed out and can talk me off the cliff of panic. He works better than anything.
- He’s encouraging, even if sometimes it’s through hearing the truth. I like this about him.
- He’ll say no to me. I never liked that guys I dated were always “yes” guys. It drove me bananas. My husband will look me straight in the face and say “no” in a kind but firm way. He is exactly what I need.
- I’ve learned that I hope our children look just like my husband. Girl or boy, they would be lucky to get his genetics.
- Heck, I hope my children have his work ethics and internal motivation. I am very externally motivated as an extrovert, and I hope my children are not. I want them to be motivated internally like their father. Both have their pro’s and con’s, but I love his way of thinking of things which is so different from how I process the world.
- He has a soft spot for puppies and kids and it makes my heart melt.
- He does not like cats. Even so, he was willing to give the one we had that I *had* to have (all of five days before it ran away when the previous owner told me to let her outside to help her calm down) a bath. A man who hates cats, gave the cat I had to have a bath, and managed to get scratched to high hell and back doing it. That’s love.
- How to laugh at myself. I LOVE laughing, but I get very very serious sometimes and can’t get out from under it. Andy will mock my face and attitude and I can’t help but laugh. Thank God for him being able to make me laugh at myself.
- Love. He taught me how to love. How to love through anything. How to fight for what you want. How easy it can be to love someone so awesome. How hard love can be. How wonderful love can be. Mostly, he taught me how worth it love can be. Especially when that someone is him.
That’s it. 30 of the best lessons I’ve learned from almost a decade with my husband.
Here’s to my last year in my 20’s, and what he might teach me over the next decade.